Sunday, November 30, 2008
Week 10, Unit 7 Communication & Emotions
Describe one situation in which an irrational fallacy did or continues to debilitate you. Identify two ways you might challenge that fallacy. Some irrational beliefs could include perfectionism or fear—see your textbook for other examples that could apply to you. Your textbook also identifies ways to change, such as monitoring.
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One thing that dibilates me is that I'm kindof a perfectinist. I try my best to be a good mother and am always reading parenting magazines to get helpful hints on parenting skills. I even read books and go to parenting seminars. I'm also a neat freak, so that dibilates me a lot, because I'm always cleaning. Some would say that I'm an overachiever at everything that I do. I believe in doing the best that we can and sometimes that means educating yourself and to keep trying.
One thing that debilitates me is fear. There are a lot of different things Im fearful of such as not doing well in school and not being successful after school. I also have different insecurities that affect who I am and at times it really bothers me. Im trying not to be so worried about school now that I am actually doing well, I always did good in high school but last year was just a whole different ball game and Im nervous I might fall back into my old habits. So, I have been trying to change that, I try not to go out during the week anymore because I feel a lot more responsible about school then I ever have. Im also trying to not hang out with the wrong crowd since that is particulariy what got me into trouble last year. Im really trying to focus on school now and Im making one of my top priorities instead of “What is going on tonight?” I also feel that my dad doesn’t really trust me to be out and abount on my own anymore and Im slowly getting it back by showing him that I really do care about my future and schooling. In a way this fear of failing is driving me to to well so that I don’t let my parents down again.
I am a very involved individual when I am in a group and I like to add my two cents to the situation. If people do not take my words into consideration, I tend to put myself down as if to say "your input wasn't needed". This is a dibilitation because this affects my self esteem. It always sets me back down as not being good enough for the people around me and that I need to come up with another new idea so that I can set myself at a higher self esteem level. Some tell me that I am a push over because I don't let people know what I think. Well it's because I choose not to share it for the fear of being unimportant.
One thing that dibilates me is my need to succeed in everything that I do. I get mad and put myself down if I feel as if I have not done good on something or have not received the acknowlegment that I was looking for. I try to do my best at everything but sometimes I feel as if that is not enough to satisfy other people.
In a previous job I thought my boss was out to get me and that he was spreading rumors about me. I would go to work everyday feeling as though that would be my last day. I would go outside to smoke with co-workers and complain about my boss. She thought I was being paranoid. Well, come to find out it was all in my head. My boss actually had a crush on me and was asking my co-workers questions about me. He asked me out after he transferred to a different facility. I should have just went to him sooner to with my concerns. Another way that dibilates me is my unrealistic standards of clean I put on myself and my family. I have been known to on occasion flip out when things are left out or messes not cleaned up. When my youngest daughter doesn't clean her room the way I want it, I will sometimes do it myself. This is not teaching her anything I realize and it is enabling her to be irresponsible.
I agree with stacey, I am also a perfectinist. I try to be a good student and try to do the best at my job. And I study so hard, and always ask my boss what I can do to improve. I am also very organized, like you such see my schedule/pocket organizer. I think I am one of the most organized 20 year olds that I know. I believe that you should work as hard as you can to achieve your goals/dreams.
One of the things that debilitates me is fear. I have a fear that I am not doing well enough in school or that I am not a good enough parent or that my house isn't clean enough. I have to realize that all I can do is my best and as long as I have done my best that is all that matters.
One thing that dibelates me is that I don't like to interupt the pharmacist and the store manager when they are talking. I fear that the manager will take away my hours that I have left since I started school and the pharmacist will yell or get upset and the rest of the day will be unjoyable. I could challenge this fallacy by asking the pharmacist if it is alright that I interupt them when a cutsomer is there to pick up a prescription. I also need to remind myself that the customer is just going to get upset if I don't interupt and the pharmacist and the manager may be talking for a while.
One thing that has debilitated me is that I always thought I was never smart enough to go onto college. School never came easy to me and I didn’t get the best of grades in high school. So I always just assumed that I would never be good at college. I kept on thinking that for many years. A few years after graduation I did go to the technical college, I ended up dropping out after a couple months. It was in my mind constantly that I was going to fail and that I wasn’t going to do well in my classes. Then a year ago I decided to go to cosmetology school, I figured that this would be ok. I started it and a few months later I just thought I didn’t want to do this and I was going to eventually fail at doing this. Now I am here, and doing strong in my second quarter. The first quarter was very tough for me. I was setting myself up for failure right away. I finally had to tell myself to just believe, and if I just put my mind to it , I can do this!
One of my most debilitating weaknesses is being a perfectionist. When I am assigned projects in school I usually get myself way too deep into my subject and want to make it absolutely detailed and perfect. I end up taking too much time on the little things and fall short on the deadline. I could prevent this by not reading too much into what I am doing or just oversimplify it so my perfectionism will balance it out and the project will come out not too detailed and on time.
One thing that debilitates me more often than not is fear. Not that I’m scared for my life, or scared of being injured, it’s the fear of looking inadequate in front of groups of people.
I know two key ways that can help me with this obstacle. First practice talking in front of people more, which to be honest has gotten easier since I have started my Interpersonal Relations class. Secondly I believe I have to not look so deeply into things and act, instead of dissecting the situation. Those two tools can cure me of my fear and I believe I can live a normal life when it comes to talking to groups of people.
One thing that had debilitated me was a fear of snakes. They used to scare me for some reason. One of my co-workers has snakes and when I first went to her house, she did not know about my fear. So there i was, sitting on the couch and she plopped one of her ball pythons right on my lap. I literally froze. However, the snake was as calm as could be. I started to pet him, and eventually carried him around. (His name is Rocky.)Little by little, I started over-coming my fear. I even used him for practice examination for my vet classes. I learned that he is ticklish also. Thus, I am close to being over my fear.
One of my most common fallacies that I face is the fallacy of taking responsibilities for others. When others around me are depressed or upset regarding something, at times I take it personally and feel it is something I did. Not only does this make me feel depressed or frustrated, but it does not help the other person involved either and can sometimes make matters worse. Also, then the person is not able to take their emotions into their own hands to understand how they feel. For example, if my boyfriend is upset about something at work and doesn’t always talk about it, I automatically take it personally as if I did something wrong. It turn, it does not make anyone feel better and only elongates the problem.
One fallacy is that sometimes I take responsibilities for others. For example, when someone close to me is having a bad day after I have a conversation with them and I try to talk to them againg, but they did not respond. I think to myself that it is me that make them feel that way. I am sometimes very nosy and would want to help the people around me so I get into people business without thinking of the consequence. Right now I am trying to just ignore people problem and start thinking that there it is not my falut that they feel how they fell.
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